Wasps.

I think we have a wasps nest in our kitchen. It really creeped me out when I came home from my driving lesson to find 12 dead wasps by the back door. There was one on the window so I killed it with a roll of Bounty. 

Now I walk around the kitchen feeling itchy and on edge. They're clever wasps. Aaron thinks one of them was "playing dead" before. Bees, they sting once and they're dead thus showing they would only ever, really, kill if it was absolutely necessary. 

Wasps, on the other hand, can go around stinging innocent people for the fun of it. They can play sick tricks like playing dead and get their unsuspecting victims when they least expect it. I think we should call an exterminator. 

We also get loads of squirrels in our back garden, who I swear are plotting to take over the world, or at least our world. They come really close to our doors and windows and unlike most other furry creatures, aren't afraid of tapping on the glass and shouting. I think the animal world is watching me. i've had these suspicions for quite a while.

You may think I'm joking. 

I don't think I am.